APS = BFF

After a being thoroughly disheartened by missing my bus to Guatemala City, I returned a mi casa to find my family surprised, but happy to see me. I think they were partly happy because a BILLION kids were visiting, and they wanted to go out. (note: by a BILLION I mean three plus the baby who lives there) So after a quick hello and goodbye, I was suddenly babysitter to three adorable and energenic kids who could not understand a word I was saying, nor I them.

However, after playing a form of Crotch ball with the littlest girl (those who hung out with Sasha and Vanessa from the theater know what I'm talking about), headless horseman with all of them, and then teaching them Quack! Diddly o-so (you know that hand game from elementary school, yes? yes?), we got to drawing, because I still didn't want to run around. And the kids drew me pictures of hearts and flowers with the words: amigas para siempre. Which means "friends for always."

And then I ate them up because they were SOOOOO cute. And delicious.

the "There are some things money can't buy" spoof post

Bus ticket from Guatemala City to Xela: $5

One mug of the world's best hot chocolate: $.90

One week Spanish classes, room, and board: $140

Trip to hot springs: $4

Knowing these prices are possible due to a poor economy partly caused by years of civil war and atrocious civil rights violations as a result of a military coup supported directly by the CIA: priceless

Embarrassing Things About Living With My Host Family; From Least Embarrassing to Most

1. I brought some nice loose leaf tea as a gift for the entire family, but for some reason decided that I only needed to bring one tea infuser. So now mi madre always serves me tea. And no one else can drink the tea. It´s embarrassing every single time.

2. My room is right next to the bathroom. I mentioned before how the walls are very thin. This means I can very clearly hear everyone pee. And poop. And sometimes talk to themselves while they poop. Although I can´t yet understand what they are saying.




3. I DON´T KNOW ANYONE´S NAME!!! I was introduced to people once, but forgot most of the names, and didn´t understand a lot of people´s relationship to the heads of the household (I know la abuelita se llama Marta, and I THINK el abuelito se llama Martin. But I´m not sure on that last one.) It´s gotten to the point where it´s too awkward to ask names. I´m hoping my Spanish will improve enough so I will be able to pick out names from conversations. Yesterday was my host sister´s 19th birthday. Ï thought to myself, Thank goodness, self. I´ll be able to learn at least her name when they sing her Happy Birthday. But I couldn´t understand. It sounded like Minda ABljsfdjldfskljaaaaa. I am so ashamed.

well the weather outside es loco

i had an argument with my mom once about whether or not it made sense to use the phrase, ´"if you don´t like the weather, wait 5 minutes" for seattle. I said no, because I feel like the weather in Seattle is pretty constant. At the time, I believed the phrase had been coined for the northeastern segment of the US.

Now, I believe this phrase was coined solely for Xela. This morning it was so cold i needed two t shirts, my jacket, and my tapado, a shawl I bought yesterday to help keep me warm. Now, it´s so hot i want to run around in my bikini. Which I will not do.

Esta AQUI!

That means- I AM HERE!!!!

Whoa. So I've been in Guatemala for three days, and there is so much to write about. Es loco. I will try not to let this post get too long, because if you are anything like me, you have a short attention span to when it comes to reading things on a computer screen. Here, I'll put numbers on my paragraphs to make things easier:

1. GUATEMALA IS A BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY. The drive from Guatemala City to Xela was truly breathtaking. Xela is about 4,000 up, so the drive was filled with mountains. And corn. Corn grows EVERYWHERE. There will be little patches on the sides of mountains, it's really weird to see. there is a lot of garbage around towns, which is unfortunate, but what ya gonna do?

2. MY HOST FAMILY IS NICE. We have bottled water, so I don't have to worry about that. My room is nice, the people are friendly. My host sister has an adorable baby. It's funny, because she looks to be about 15 years old. She still has braces on. Yet she's a mother, I've seen her breastfeed. She seems like a really awesome mom, too. She spends all her time with the baby, Maria Alejandra, and she seems really really happy. Her husband seems really really happy, too. I had a talk with one of the brothers about how in the US, families don't live together. He told me that here, they often live together out of neccesity, because it's too expensive. He said it's hard, to have so many people living together. I say, at least you have your support network right in the room next door. Although they can probably hear you have sex, too.

3. MY SCHOOL ROCKS. BUT IT IS NOT THE SCHOOL OF ROCK. After my first day of school, I went out to a bar with three teachers and a bunch of other people from the school for Merengue lessons. It was super fun. (don't worry, I walked home in a big group.) (now I think i want to take dancing lessons like, all the time) Today, we went to a pueblo just outside the city and saw people do some crazy weaving stuff (the traditional mayan women's skirts are like, 50 meters long or something, and are just wrapped around hella) and bought illegal Guatemalan booze. You know that's an awesome school. And seriously- I feel like my espanol is improving every day. It's really fun to learn.

4. ODDLY ENOUGH, I KNOW HELLA PEOPLE HERE. First- Gemma's sister Claire, and her boyfriend Peter. Second, Nikki's cousin K-Ro (who picked me up from the airport, and drove me to the bus stop, and made me a sandwhich, and called the school to make sure I arrive ok, and gave the information of her cousin's cousin in Xela who I have to call). Third, and this is MOST random, a girl at my school named Diane, who I ALMOST lived with in seattle this summer. WHOA! What? Es verdad. She lived with Sarah, who worked with me at Plmouth House. I was going to take Sarah's room, until I decided to ask Sue if I could live with her at the overture instead. but I had met her once at dinner at the Plymouth House. AND she went to high school with Sarah Light from Brandeis. Crazy, no?

5. I HAVE TO GO TO DINNER NOW. bye.

You Can Write Me At This Address

ICA
19 Avenida 1-47 zona 1
Quetzaltenango, Guatemala, C.A.

danger everywhere!

When someone tells you that sushi knives are sharp, they are probably not lying. Sushi knives are sharp. How sharp are they? Well, they are sharp enough to cut you. Especially if you are cutting apples to put in a pie and you slip, and the knife goes into your arm twice and the edge is so sharp that it slices through all of your skin. It's sharp enough to cut all through your skin twice without you even realizing it until you are bleeding and you see your skin sort of slip open and you see your flesh and there is lots of blood. And the knife is not even bloody because it was so sharp it made the cut quickly before the blood could get on the knife.

That is how sharp a sushi knife is. Don't fuck around with those things.

Other than that, Chicago is pretty awesome.

Meeting Hero #2

I didn't realize it at the time, but I met my other Chicago hero earlier this week, too.
The Neo-Futurists are, in my opinion, one of the most interesting theater troupes in the country. (http://www.neofuturists.org/) While seeing a play of theirs at the Northlight Theater in Chicago, I had the good fortune to be introduced by the artistic director of that theater, BJ Jones.
"I hear there's a Steitzer in this row." he says. Dad has directed him years before, and according to BJ, they were "free minute phone friends" to this very day. So Dad had called and alerted BJ to my presence (btw- BJ? Your name is really BJ? A theater guy named BJ? oh man....), and I met this guy, and it was nice. As I was leaving, BJ introduced me to the director of the Neo-Futurist show, Greg Allen. I didn't realize at the time that Greg Allen was the founder of the Neo-Futurists.
So that was awesome.

Chicago: the city of dreams.

I met this guy, Jeffrey Brown, earlier this week. For those of you who know, you realize a) how cool this is, b) how dorky this is, c)how incredibly AWKWARD this must have been, d) ALL OF THE ABOVE. Jeffrey Brown is incredibly nice, and didn't seem to mind that I basically hung around at the music counter of the Webster Place Barnes and Nobles (where he works) for over an hour. God. I was trying so hard to make him like me and want to be my best friend. Or at least my pen pal. Usually I thought saying things like, "Yeah, well, everyone has to pay the bills. Whatever." would accomplish that. I was wrong. Oh well. I still have fun at least. Cross meeting one of my heroes off that list.

first post, last days in Seattle

What I really want to do is sit around and look at people on MySpace while eating peanut butter with a spoon here in Chicago. What I'm going to try and do instead to write about saying goodbyes to my fair Emerald City. My hometown Seattle. My lovely place.

My goodbyes were sort of divided up into groups. The first "group" to say goodbye to was Plymouth House. (remember that old blog? ha ha ha ha. wacky plymouth house.) Alex was having her goodbye dinner- the last of the companions from my "generation" of companions. It was an amazingly great party, and of course very sweet and a little sad. We all had a fun time destroying the toucan bird pinata, which had come to be a mascot for the house.

Alex drove me home that night, and my last memory of the house is Solalesh standing on the porch waving goodbye. Goodbye my friend.

I had to say goodbye to Seattle Neutrino Project. I had decided to stay for Labor Day weekend to be able to perform with them at Bumbershoot. I think standing with the cast after our second show, being presented with a cake and a goodbye card, was the first time when it really really really sunk in that I was leaving. Comedy people are often the most fun people to hang out with, but Neutrino people are also some of the nicest. I feel I've grown as an improviser, AND I have all these new friends. who I love and who are amazing and talented. goodbye neutrino.

Two days ago I had to return my keys to Seattle Children's Home. I was lucky because the kids I wanted to see most and say goodbye to most were on-unit. That was so hard. Because when you leave SCH, you LEAVE. You sever contact with all the kids, you never see them again. So there are these kids, and they were all sitting in this room sort of watching TV and playing games calmly, and you want to say goodbye in a meaningful way. How do you just sit there and tell them, "I'm leaving, but I'll always remember you guys, because you are all wonderful people deep down, and I'll always be hoping that you make something out of yourself and forget this horrible place, but hopefully remember some of the peole here who worked with you and cared about you." when you have about two minutes, and they're all tough kids anyway who want to seem tough. My favorite kid gave me a hug and said he'll miss me. And I'll miss him too. One of my supervisors gave me a hug, and said thanks for my work, and told me not to cry when I started crying in the back office. Goodbye seattle children's home.

The Overture had been my home for the past month, but I felt like I belonged there. Sue and Maya and Davida are amazing. Being able to have a place to really feel comfortable in is hard work, but they made it easy. Which made it so much harder to leave, of course. Damn them. Damn those fun hump nights and impromptu dance parties. Goodbye Overture.

I always feel sorry for people who hated the people at their high school. Because the best people i know in the world went to Franklin, and they live on capital hill in an apartment building with a silly name. Nary and Jesse and Jordan taught about loving pies and donuts, and dancing, and laughing, and have been true friends and have been so good to me. We always seem to seperate for long periods of time- which become non-existant when hanging out together again. So goodbye for now, franklin quakers. I'll see you around and we can take more on-line quizzes together.

My family- that's always tough. Probably one of the best things about Dance-Off is that I got to see Ben on a twice weekly basis. The boy is brilliant and amazing, and I am so lucky to have him as a brother. Goodbye Ben. Goodbye Mom, who I know is so worried about this trip that I'm going on. Which I appreciate and know is only out of love. Mom, I'll be ok, I promise. Goodbye Martin, thanks for driving me to the airport at 6:30 am yesterday. Goodbye family.

Goodbye Seattle. You are an amazing city, filled with amazing people and things and trees and water and mountains and you were the place where I was born. and i love you but you know, baby, sometimes these things just don't work out. I gotta sew my wild oats. I gotta see what other cities out there have to offer. And if it's meant to be I'll be back, baby, I promise. This ain't the end. It's only the beginning. (and then cue the intro music used in Grease and we rock out until there's a freeze frame of me jumping up in the air or something. and then credits roll.)